Rape Survivor: My experience, and journey of healing

               Today is the day. I am finally ready to write about my ex calling me. I don’t really know what has taken so long for me to write about this… I think I have been feeling apprehension because he told me he wanted to read my blog, and I was a little nervous (yeah, he said that. Maybe he did, I’ll never know). Nonetheless, today is the day.                Let’s start from the beginning, meaning the beginning of two years ago. I was in a car accident that has rendered me mostly incapacitated. I have a condition called Occipital Neuralgia, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I have had migraines and headaches almost every day for the last two years. This will hopefully be coming to an end, as I will be having surgery soon.                Also, ...

  I can't believe it's been over a year since I have posted in here. It has been almost ten years since the rape. It is interesting that at one point, it brought me physical pain to even think the word "rape", now I can say it, talk about it, talk about my experience. It gives me pain, I sometimes get choked up, but I can talk about it. I can share it and maybe help someone else struggling with even accepting what has happened to them.   I still have nightmares. I still have panic attacks. I sometimes will even have flashbacks if an instance causes enough grief for me. Sometimes I'll click on an article about someone else that was raped or assaulted, and it will cause a flash back or a panic attack. I don't think that will ever completely go away. The instances are farther apart, but the PTSD remains.   Sometimes it gets hard to breathe. Sometimes I lay in bed at night, afraid that he will come to find me. I wish he was dead so the fear would leave, because ...