Another year, guys
I can't believe it's been over a year since I have posted in here. It has been almost ten years since the rape. It is interesting that at one point, it brought me physical pain to even think the word "rape", now I can say it, talk about it, talk about my experience. It gives me pain, I sometimes get choked up, but I can talk about it. I can share it and maybe help someone else struggling with even accepting what has happened to them. I still have nightmares. I still have panic attacks. I sometimes will even have flashbacks if an instance causes enough grief for me. Sometimes I'll click on an article about someone else that was raped or assaulted, and it will cause a flash back or a panic attack. I don't think that will ever completely go away. The instances are farther apart, but the PTSD remains. Sometimes it gets hard to breathe. Sometimes I lay in bed at night, afraid that he will come to find me. I wish he was dead so the fear would leave, because