My best method of recovery: Therapy

Right after I was raped, I struggled with every day things. I was going to a community college close to where I lived, and there was some time where I didn’t go to my classes, or do any of my homework. I literally could not handle menial day to day things.  There was a few times where I called my mom to pick me up in the middle of my class because something triggered a flashback, and I had a breakdown.  I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t eat. I felt empty, broken. My chest was an abyss of complete and utter pain and heartache, and nothing I did filled the void. Nothing I did seemed to matter. I felt like all of my actions were worthless, and every move I made was pointless. It was the most numbing, miserable, unbearable time of my life. Since I was in denial for so long, and had such a hard time coping with the reality that I was raped, it took longer for me to start recovering and healing. It took me almost 3 years before I hit rock bottom, and realized I needed some serious help.

Some websites, people, doctors, etc. will say that therapy isn’t necessary unless you are having serious problems. I disagree with this. I think everyone who has been sexually assaulted needs therapy, even a little, no matter what the assault consisted of. Losing control with sexual abuse messes with you in a way that you cannot fix yourself, no matter how hard you try. Go to therapy as much as your therapist tells you to. Also, search around until you find someone that you like and are comfortable with. I went to many therapists before I found the one I liked, and she changed my life, and my entire outlook on everything. I needed that support, and so does everyone that has been through the same types of things. If you can’t afford it, there are places that you can go where counseling is free.

                I also went when I was ready to go. I wasn’t ready right after the rape happened, because I hadn’t accepted the abuse, and that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. If you haven’t accepted that what happened to you wasn’t your fault, and that you need help, therapy will not help you, because nothing the therapist says will get through to you. Trust me, I went for a couple of months after I was raped and it did nothing for me. You have to accept within yourself that you did NOTHING to make that person abuse you. You might need to hit the lowest of low that you ever have been, like I did, before you decide you need help to recover.

                It took me a while to get to that point, like I said, 3 years of heartache, confusion, and doubt. There was a time for about a year where I was getting a little better, and trying to learn to cope with life by having my family as support and being religious, but I still hadn’t accepted that there was nothing I could have done to stop the abuse, so it was all a sham. I was only putting a coat of paint on my damaged psyche until I snapped. When I finally realized there was nothing I could have done to prevent the attack, all the coats of cracked paint came bursting wide open, and all the original wounds and pain I experienced right after the rape came flooding back into my heart. Only covering the damage and denying the pain and event will not help you, it will hurt you, and in the long run make it that much harder for you to be able to recover and learn to deal with reality. Here are some stats about abused victims that I think are important:

                Survivors of sexual assault are:

                -3x more likely to suffer from depression

                -6x more likely to suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

                -13x more likely to abuse alcohol

                -26x more likely to abuse drugs

                -4x more likely to contemplate suicide*

If you are one of those people who have suffered from one or more of these, you are not alone. It is a normal reaction to sexual abuse to have any one or more of these things happen to you. Some of them happened to me. If you are struggling with any of these, therapy will most likely be the only way that you will be able to overcome.

                 I talk about therapy more than any other healing process because I truly believe in it. There is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist; in fact, I think everyone should see one at some point in their lives. They are helpful and trained to know how the brain works. One of the biggest parts in the healing process as well is doing things at your own speed. Don’t feel pressured to go to therapy if you are not ready. Don’t feel like there is something horribly wrong with you because it’s been decades since you were abused and you still struggle. Everyone has their own timeline, and you need to find yours. Be confident that you can overcome, and be able to heal and deal with life. Find support in friends and family; find role models of people you know that you want to aspire to. You can do anything you set your mind to, including being able to live your life to the fullest once again!

*Here is the website where I got my info. There are a lot of other statistics and helpful information here as well.

http://www.rccmsc.org/resources/get-the-facts.aspx